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Tour Tweets of the Week : Bromance, rivals and one stage at a time

July 24, 2018, 4:30 am
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The second week of the Tour de France has come and gone, but the tweets live on forever. We have Julian Alapolkadot, whale-watching in the peloton, Cav‘s cutest fan, Fabs eating a giant cookie and Moms who love the Tour – and people who love France. Plus so so much more!

Polka-dot Picasso

I love him and I don’t care who knows it. So Julian Alaphilippe gets premium place in this week’s Tweets

Bromance slumber party

While LouLou’s teammate PhilGil has been frisky all week – working hard for his teammates and perhaps trying for some glory of his own

Sky rivals

As is usual in a Grand Tour, Sky were the focus of attention, both good and bad.

I’ve always really liked Geraint Thomas (granted, I still think he’s missed his calling as a mega-classics rider but hey …) and it really does feel like he has his head screwed on right. Will be interesting to see what happens this week and if he can take the yellow jersey all the way to Paris.

The idiots who have been throwing things at Sky, who try to interfere with the riders and who generally are dickheads have no place in cycling. I absolutely believe that. Whether you like a rider or not, they’re still human beings – how would you like it if you were going to your office and you had to run the gauntlet of people with flares, running beside you in dodgy underwear or spitting at you?

That said, Dave Brailsford doesn’t do himself any favours by blaming the French – all of France – for this. Funnily enough, he said this just after his troubled rider, Gianni Moscon got kicked off the Tour for punching another rider. Get your own house in order, Dave, before you call out an entire nation.

I love this hashtag thread #NiceThingsAboutTheFrench.

For me, it would be Engrenages …

And speaking of Dave’s petulant rider …

A generous gesture for EBH

Best teeshirt EVER

Moms love Le Tour

These Mom tweets are absolutely delightful.

It’s a long time to be on the road, so seeing your family even after you’ve just ridden a mountain must be lovely for the riders.

A little love for Cav after he came in outside the time cut.

When the race doesn’t work out

The route of the Tour de France is littered with tears and heartbreak amidst the champagne corks. Here are a few tweets that sum up what happens when the race just doesn’t work out.

It’s terrible when this happens

Calmejane has been trying all week to get a stage win. It just wasn’t to be.

A slightly dodgy Google Translate of Calmejane’s thoughts on the stage that wasn’t to be. “Lilian Calmejane in tears at the finish: “I was at home, I had legs to win, I would not have other opportunities like that Some teams ran to lose Mollema what does it 3rd? Trek tried to bury me. “

Dan Martin is not interested in just tooling along in the peloton. He’s been wanting action – so he’s taken it.

Bedhead‘s worst nightmare has found him on the road

While for some guys who normally don’t even think of abandoning, the pace was just too much. It just shows that it isn’t an easy decision to abandon.

When love breaks down between a sprinter and his team. Andre Greipel deserved better than a terse two-sentence team press release. We anxiously await news of his new team next season. Because he’s not done, and we’re not done watching him.

Retirement Tuesday

It seems that Fabian Cancellara and Phil Gaimon have forged quite a sweet little friendship. Over giant cookies. And a great cause – Phil has been fundraising for No Kid Hungry – have a look at what they do and why not give a little bit to make the world a better place?

Look who turned up at the Tour this year? It’s good to see Andy Schleck looking so happy and healthy.

Would you get into a lift with these guys?

Pippo rises again …

The Gruppetto

I love this gesture by Bauke Mollema.

Behind the scenes with Trek …

Gruber alert! Gruber alert!

Astana had a good week … two consecutive stage wins – and the first by both Omar Fraile and Magnus Cort

I absolutely love that Omar went round to everyone who helps keep his team on the road and thanked them with a hug. This is what it means to win your first Tour de France stage.

Eurosport’s own merry prankster – Ashley House photobombing his Polish colleagues. Sashay out!

Meanwhile, the lion of the peloton, as envisaged by Panache

The last word

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Tour Tweets of the Week : Au revoir, Tour de France

July 31, 2018, 4:30 am
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It was the final week of the 2018 Tour de France and we had some great racing. And some great tweeting. So here is our final Tour 2018 Tweets of the Week … as usual, tongue-in-cheek fun for the whole family.

This happened

Lots of yellow, lots of dragons, a few very heated arguments on Twitter about whether Wales is a country or not. But one thing is for sure: Geraint Thomas has won the Tour de France and he could’t be more thrilled.

I love the fact that the Rev’s tweet includes the phrase ‘dearth of vowels’

When Geraint was a pup

The loneliness of a time trial breakfast

On the way to the Champs

Instagram Photo

When our love was new and our hearts were high

No, Taylor wasn’t the one that Moscon punched.

And … relax

The guys have gone demob happy.

What’s next?

TourDeMom

The Gruppetto

The stuff that happens when you’re on camera

Fabs, however, missed his time on Eurosport due to a broken foot. I must go to him

Maybe you’d like a little souvenir?

I’ll have chips with that

Blueberries are GO!

The last word

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Vuelta Tweets of the Week: It begins …

August 28, 2018, 4:30 am
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Only three days into the Vuelta … blimey, it’s been a bit dull, but we’ve trawled through the Twitterstream to pick out a few choice tweets to document the first weekend.

Let’s win 1500 times this season, guys!

QuickStep certainly have the knack for designing great national champion jerseys!

Michal Kwiatkowski gives the Italian winner a Twitter nod … or else, there’s cloning going on in the Deathstar

And while we’re on the subject of special jerseys, here is the magnificent European Champion’s jersey as well, as worn by Matteo Trentin.

It can’t be comfortable in that thing …

A cool dip after a hot TT

Predictions

Will Kwiatkowski make it to Madrid in red?

Richie Porte … oh, Richie Porte

It’s all about the numbers

Some interesting stats for you, mostly courtesy of @irishpeloton

When Piti was a pup

Possibly the most truthful thing I’ve read about Alejandro Valverde – the good and the bad.

And perhaps the most impressive number of them all, 290,606. That’s how many dollars Lawson Craddock raised during his Tour de France ‘Fight For Paris’ sufferfest in July for the Alkek Velodrome in Houston.

Farewell, Aqua Blue, you deserved better

Considering that there was all that confusion around exactly what team(s) Aqua Blue merged-with-bought-combined-with just after the Tour de France. The teams that were ‘bought’ kept coming back saying, um, no … Well, in what can only be described as callous, not to mention incredibly unprofessional, the entire Aqua Blue team and staff found out ON TWITTER that the team is folding. Unbelievable. Here’s hoping the riders and staff are able to find new teams before the 2019 season.

Rainy days and Mondays

The rain was not on the plain in Spain, it was … um, doing something that rhymes with Plouay (‘the course was gluey in Plouay’ …?

Torrential rain did not dim the joy of this victory

I’ve been missing Zdenek Stybar …

The Gruppetto

Why Aussies rule …

Possibly the STUPIDEST looking microphone on the face of the earth.

Find sporting goods store, roll in glue, jump into the sales rack.

Tosh van der Sande, private eye

Metamorphosis …

Ah, the dulcet tones of Thibaut Pinot 

He might not be at his physical peak at the moment, but he doesn’t lose his mischievousness

I can’t say they look particularly fired up …

Hop-a-long Fabs …

Instagram Photo

The last word

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Vuelta Tweets of the Week: Kings of the road

September 4, 2018, 4:30 am
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Oh, the twists and turns of an unpredictable Vuelta. In one of the most open Grand Tours in a long time, we’ve had some great stories … and their natural home is, of course, Twitter. We even have a tour which is not a tour … So sit back and relive some of the action fished out of the Twitterstream.

While I’m not sure who these purists are, what is true is that the Vuelta always delivers crazy, dramatic racing.

Luck – good and bad and hoped for

Fabrizio might have spoken too soon about the lack of wins but I’d agree with him about the entertaining nature of EF this season.

Richie is riding the Vuelta as if he were a neo pro. And probably have a lot of fun doing it.

Sagan has his own category.

Ben’s the king!

One of the feel-good stories of the Grand Tour is Ben King and his fantastic ride on Sunday.

The power of love …

While poor Bauke Mollema …

Retirement is good …

Alberto Contador joins Juan Antonio Flecha for a recon or two of some climbs for Eurosport. LOVE

Sorry, Jens, but sometimes retirement isn’t all Gran Fondos, commentary gigs or hanging out at Rouleur weekends.

#NoGoTour

With their Aqua Blue Team going to the wall, Larry Warbasse and Conor Dunne have decided to take to the open road. And we love them for it!

Even rain can’t dampen the spirits of these two …

Relatively speaking

Sunday, Monday, happy days …

Floris de Tier – sounds like someone who would be acting at the Globe Theatre

Tache-tastic!

Meanwhile, in the UK …

A certain satisfaction, I’m sure, for Andre Greipel beating Caleb Ewan in the Tour of Britain opening sprint.

Sounds like the KiryBot has been reprogrammed …

And the QuickStep boys just keep riding on.

The Gruppetto

Always worth putting in a picture from one of the greatest movies ever – Breaking Away

Geraint Thomas‘s new sponsorship stream

Epstein-Barr bites hard

In response to Brailsford’s solution to the problems of cycling is JV’s response

Elia Viviani, who has come alive at the finish line since leaving Sky, tells us why no sprinter has had any luck in that team. Proves that money isn’t everything – you might actually need some strategy for those pesky sprint stages

The last word

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Tweets of the Week: Celebrating Joie de Vivre!

September 11, 2018, 4:30 am
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With every race, there are the winners and the losers, the heroes and the villains. But one tour this summer only had winners – and heroes. With the #NoGoTour coming out of the collapse of Aqua Blue, Larry Warbasse and Conor Dunne refreshed both themselves and cycling fans everywhere and showed us – and themselves – the true beauty of cycling. This Tweets of the Week celebrates those riders who aren’t shy about showing us their joie de vivre!

Thank you, Conor! Thank you, Larry!

They didn’t have contracts but they had so much more. Larry Warbasse and Conor Dunne had adventures, had music, had a wedding, had lakes and mountains, had really great yellow coats. And they had us enthralled in their adventure. They’ve made a lot of fans over the past week or so. (NB: yeah, these are out of order, but they’re still great …)

Instagram Photo

Instagram Photo

If Lawson Craddock was the Tour de France’s feelgood story, the #NoGoTour was the Vuelta’s … even when it had nothing to do with the Vuelta at all. It’s guys like these – and rides like these – and the spirit they show, that makes cycling so wonderful. Hey teams – give these guys a contract!

Meanwhile, Pinot was on a rampage

But in a great way! He joined the elite club of riders who have won a stage in all three Grand Tours. He’s winning! I can smell the heady scent of wood smoke now!

The Mr Darcy of the peloton?

He plays the drums, he jokes with the team, he’s courteous to fans and he has the best facial hair in the peloton. Julian Alaphilippe has that rare quality of being a happy-go-lucky guy off the bike while becoming Angryphilippe on the road, with an appetite for victories and challenging himself in every race. This week, he won the Tour of Britain, but it was the crazy-looking owl/falcon, the jaunty Robin Hood hat and going side-saddle that endeared us.

Shout out to whoever is in charge of Quick-Step’s Twitter account. Funny, lighthearted … magnificent.

‘Oy! You talkin’ to me?’

And who can’t love the beautiful bromance between LouLou and Jungels! BOB JUNGELS!?

And London thanks you, Quick-Step!

Who can’t love ProCycling Trumps little animations!

The Gruppetto

Oh, we do love a good ‘translate this’

I have never been so unsure about a pair of shoes in my life.

You never stop being a fan. His Nibs looks thrilled …

Mancrush gone wild (Panache, we miss you!!!!!!)

If this isn’t fierce joy, I don’t know what is. Chapeau, Bauke Mollema, chapeau!

The last word

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Vuelta Tweets of the Week: Final reactions to 2018’s best Grand Tour

September 18, 2018, 4:30 am
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In the last mountain stage, eight places out of the top 10 changed around. That’s one of the reasons why this was such a great Grand Tour – it never failed to throw up surprises. We’ve trawled the Twittersphere for some final reactions for #Vuelta2018

When you’re about to win your first Grand Tour

And you’re wearing silly sunglasses

They might ride together, but they don’t look around for one another very often.

We were targeting the team classification

Two big riders on Movistar – how was it going to pan out in that third week? Super-domestique or foe?

When you realise you’re not in Kansas anymore …

Annnnnd Zen!

‘Is anybody on the other end of this thing?’

I love this. Almost as much as ‘doin’ a McEwen’ …

Sometimes a win is so much more than just a victory

When you see a great stage win in a place where you can’t jump up and down and cheer

Quick-Step … again and again

Grinta and perserverance

Simply the best!

The Gruppetto

There was astonishingly racing somewhere other than in Spain!

At the time of writing, Quick-Step had notched up their 67th win of the season

This might come in handy for Ned Boulting

I suspect LouLou is going to give EuroDisney a wide berth …

A signing that makes us very very happy.

We’re just waiting for a team to snap this guy up too.

A 10-week Tour de France

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Amusing, mystifying and disturbing

January 15, 2019, 4:30 am
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It’s the start of a new cycling season and therefore it’s the start of a new season of Tweets of the Week! The original is BACK (we started in January 2012 – how time flies!) and we’ve got a little treasure trove of tweets from EF All the Words, Katusha, Lotto-Soudal, Astana, QuickStep, to name a few, that amuse, mystify and, well, downright disturb.

It started off well …

Then it got a little … bolder

And it’s getting stranger and stranger …

“our leader of the gang, this is Jakob Fuglsang!” Don’t give up your day jobs, guys!

and scarier and scarier …

I can’t help thinking about the Dr Who episode in the Blitz – The Empty Child.

Luckily, Sunweb have full faces in real life – and the fans were relieved as they met them during Tour Down Under festivities

Deliveroo and slumber parties

There’s nothing like a muddy Zdenek to make us think … Roubaix is supposed to see rain this year #StybarForTheWin

We’re going to be seeing a lot of this in the coming season, I predict. One thing is definitely true – QuickStep sure know how to make those national jerseys sing

Deliveroo has its hands full

Boys do have slumber parties!

Meanwhile, over in Peter’s world

Still loving the hair … but definitely not the tache

Looks like the tache has caught on, unfortunately.

One day, this will be in a book of The Wise Words of Peter Sagan.

Loving the De Gendt 

Lotto-Soudal has always had the best official team pics and they do the tradition proud this year. Thomas De Gendt is put through his paces.

Seems odd to see Andre Greipel in anything other a Lotto-Soudal kit. Let’s hope that Arkea gets one of the remaining two wildcards for the Tour this year. It won’t be the same without him.

Unsure as to what is going on in this picture – looks like the cycling version of a cover of Smash Hits!

The Last Word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Willungan expectations and a whole lotta Oss

January 22, 2019, 4:30 am
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The Tour Down Under has ended and therefore the Tour de France breathless predictions have begun, right on schedule. We also have Mathew Hayman‘s retirement video with music by Freddie Mercury. We also seem to have collected a lot of tweets about Daniel Oss – and his hair isn’t the same in any one of them! Just settle back and enjoy TWEEEEEETS OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEK

Crashes and camaraderie

But first … let us doff our caps to Patrick Bevin, who was in the leader’s jersey until he had a vicious crash and had an ambulance waiting for him at the finish line on stage 5. But, as we all know, it takes more than a gamma of X-rays to keep a cyclist down and he ended the TDU with the points jersey.

With crashes come camaraderie and Alex Dowsett really says it best with an instagram of a text … (sooooo multimedia).

Instagram Photo

Let the expectations be raised!

Richie Porte won on Willunga again, which of course means, “He is in top form for the Tour de France and this will be the year that he dons the maillot jaune on the podium on the Champs Elysees!!!! Because a rider’s form in January and over an Australian climb is a clear indicator of how he will perform for nearly a month of riding in July!!!!! YAY” 

>Cillian forgot the word ‘once’ in this tweet<

But the Trek jersey and cap is very fetching!

Meanwhile, “historic” is possibly not the right word for this back-to-back victory by Daryl Impey. A great accomplishment, sure, but I don’t see it having any sort of historic significance as the world richochets its way into the future.

But Mathew Hayman retired after 20 years in the pro peloton. And Freddie Mercury pays tribute …

The Gruppetto

It is a rare Tweets of the Week when LouLou gets relegated to the gruppetto.

The cycling world is turned around in January …

I love that look on Thomas De Gendt‘s face. “One day … I will have my revenge.”

Speaking of horror – Daniel Oss has got great wildman hair … the other guy, um …

You can make this ice bath at home!

The little kangaroo …

LOVE these!

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Quickstep pups and one hot croc!

January 29, 2019, 4:30 am
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We’ve gone from Australia to Argentina – and it’s still really really hot. But we have some faces in the peloton that we’ve not seen for a while – Petr Vakoc, back from a broken back (!) and Mark Cavendish, hopefully recovered from the Epstein-Barr virus that kept him out of 2018 season. We, of course, have the usual irreverent tweets and observations from the best of procycling Twitter …

Don’t cry for me, Argentina

Young pups, recovered pups, cheeky pups … it’s QuickStep at the Vuelta San Juan.

It is hot hot hot for this race …

Great to see Petr Vakoc back in the peloton after his year of recovery from a broken back.

It must have been so emotional to be back in the peloton after so long.

Changing the course of the race

Let’s look ahead to the Ardennes Classics – Liege-Bastogne-Liege to be precise. It got a new parcours in the hopes that it’ll be a Monument that gives more than just 20min of excitement.

The new LBL route hasn’t won favour with the current LBL champion, though

Speaking of Monument winners – ‘I thought the cuffs looked a bit wrinkled … ‘

Fernando Gaviria might be in a new kit on a new team, but he’s got the same speed and will to win.

And here is what his jersey means …

There was also a familiar face in San Juan – Cav is back after a terrible 2018 season and feeling the heat.

Thanks to Fabrizio for putting all the jerseys in one handy tweet. We will have this printed out on A2 for, well, most of the season so we can figure out who the hell these teams are during our live race tweetfests!

It was a special day in the cycling calendar this past week. It was our own @pariswheels‘ birthday – hope you had a great day, Midge! Oh, and it was Peter Sagan‘s birthday. Have to say, that’s a great picture … (those ski goggles are going to be around for a very long time, aren’t they …)

Well, Thomas Dekker has it right. But as we see on Twitter, there are people who forgive as well. But more importantly, is it just me or does he look like he should be Mick Jagger‘s younger brother????

And while we’re sort of on the subject …

The Gruppetto

Well, we did have that strange and unsatisfying Grand Prix-like start …

What would the band be called, I wonder?

January isn’t January without a picture of a hot croc

I wonder what it’s like to be a ‘project’. The Rohan Dennis Project sounds like a 1980s John Hughes movie.

You just have to wonder what the hell Nairo Quintana got himself into …

You could use these same principles when packing for your gap year

Weather doesn’t get some people down …

The last word

Do a little dance …

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Dumb and dumber …

February 5, 2019, 4:30 am
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This week’s Tweets … oh Lord. You just have to wonder sometimes, don’t you? We wrap up the toxic Keisse case and then we go straight into a lot of cyclists who actually were lovely to their fans this week. Plus some Mallorcan challenges and a gruppetto of old and new …

Pithy subtitle (there are none)

Unless you’ve been living under the equivalent of a cycling rock, you’ll have heard about Quickstep’s Iljo Keisse making his ‘joke’ pose for a team picture with a female fan while in Argentina for the Vuelta a San Juan. You’ll have heard that she brought an official complaint with the police. You’ll have heard that he apologised profusely.

And then you’ll have heard about the meltdown when the organisers asked for him to be taken out of the race: Patrick Lefevere (‘How dare she not think that a simulated sex act by a man she never met wasn’t a funny prank! She must want money!’); Keisse’s father (‘How dare that woman bend over and not realise that my son would see it as a target!!!’). And then the sponsors’ response: ‘We’re giving you money to lose all sense of decency and drag our name through the mud all week long? Think again, bozo …’

There are a lot of responses to a lot of these responses on Twitter – I’ll pick out a few, but I want to start with Keisse’s apology and CyclingTips recap of the whole thing and how it’s a wider problem than just one day in San Juan. (Personally, I’m more astounded that stuff like this doesn’t come out more often than that this happened now.)

But a few people have pointed out Alvaro Hodeg’s response …

There was a way that Quickstep could have handled this properly … they just didn’t.

In another Dimension …

Cav seems more relaxed and, dare I say, almost effervescent this season.

Doing what so many cyclists in the pro peloton do – treating fans with friendliness and respect.

Meanwhile, over in Porte-land … they race with cake!

Challenge Mallorca!

And Mallorca accepts! I think they might have gone a little over the top with their first response, however. Ha!

The race giveth and the race taketh away … Mallorcan style

The Gruppetto

Cofidis confoundment!

When you’re too tall for the selfie.

Break out the motion sickness pills! (you can feel the cold, really, can’t you …?)

Look! Another cyclist being really lovely to a fan! I’m really interested in seeing what Egan Bernal is going to do this season – such an amazing talent. I hope Sky let him off the leash – I have a feeling he could be one of those riders whose very presence in a race will bring a frisson of excitement and expectation.

Does that dinosaur remind you of anyone, LouLou? Your team’s manager, perhaps? (Please please please be a better man than some of those around you, Julian … please!)

When Elvis was a cyclist

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Confetti dreams

February 19, 2019, 4:30 am
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We had races all over the place in the past week – including one that had a *confetti finish*! Hell YEAH! This week, we have LouLou, PhilGil and the Mighty Degs – who took the final sprint in Provence *and* saved Roubaix Juniors! Not bad for a weekend. We also have The Ladies’ Favourite™, a cliffhanger of a finish in Colombia and 

Quiet Excellence

We start off this week’s Tweets with the USA Cycling Hall of Fame induction of Diane Fortini who, in her decades of dedicated service, has quietly and resolutely helped young cyclists make their dreams come true. The comments of a lot of cyclists about this award just proves that when you act with integrity and compassion, you hold a place in people’s hearts forever.

It’s a global sport …

And there’s nothing wrong with that. The exuberance of the Colombians in the past week will be hard to beat this year. I wonder if we’ll see the confetti thing at Tour de Yorkshire this year …

The most  bonkers race of the year (in a good way)

It was down to the last stage – the last climb of the last stage (more of that further down). But all through the week of the Tour of Colombia, the confetti-throwing fans and the beauty of the country and the course shone through.

The Alaphilippe-Jungels bromance is still going strong!

I’m liking that orange-clad plushie the riders get on the podium

Footage of confetti *in action*!

And the final stage was a rip-roarer. The Colombians had it all to play for when they dropped LouLou …

Possibly not the best tactic there, Lopez.

Of course the rumours are rife about new funding for Team Sky, but I do agree with Lukas on this.

Provencal surprises

PhilGil doesn’t seem to be slowing down any … It’s his 17th season

I don’t know if Gilbert Son No 1 is enjoying being pawed by that mighty strange mascot on the podium.

Surely the best GC jersey in pro cycling.

The Mighty Degs : win the sprint; save Paris-Roubaix Juniors … and have some GoFundMe money left over for (hopefully) getting a women’s Roubaix set up.

The Gruppetto

Close but no cigar for Marcel Kittel. Pascal Ackerman pips him to the post

Bora definitely have the national jersey look right

Astana seemed to have come out of the blocks last week.

Happy birthday to the Ladies’ Favourite™ 

They all look so happy on those Dutch cycle paths

And it’s Andy – again!

Only Thomas De Gendt would take on Kraftwerk and win

Will he? Won’t he? This line of questioning is set to run and run until May.

Meanwhile, at the podium celebrations for the EF-All the Words TTT win last week …

We’ve noted this down, SlowRide. We’ll spring into action if we ever see you tweet that again

Is it just me or is Phil Gaimon having a whale of a time in retirement?

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Let the Classics begin!

March 5, 2019, 4:30 am
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It was the start of the cobbled classics season and dominant performances from QuickSteppers in Omloop and KBK. We have the best quiffs in the peloton with Zdenek Stybar and Jungels BOB JUNGELS!. We also have Tour of Rwanda and the UAE Tour. Plus Larry en francais! Adam’s Gran! and so much more (and for now, it’s a blood-doping-free zone).

Cobbley goodness starts

Oh, it’s been a long ugly winter … but we feel the sun has come out because it’s time for the classics!

There are some beautiful trophies in this sport and these are two of them.

It was a battle between GVA and Stybar when the race got nearer to the sharp end

But Stybar outfoxed him

Stybar as grizzled ice hockey player on a bike …

There was a huge argument between VeloVoices Luke and Euan – Euan’s mancrush is Tom D; Luke’s is Stybar. You can see the glow of a full heart in this tweet.

No sugar-coating this …

Is it me or does it look like Dylan Teuns is witnessing an alien abduction in the crowd?

GVA – now known as Growler Van Avermonster

KBK

It was a second QuickStep win – this time by Jungels BOB JUNGELS!

As much as we all hate to admit it at VeloVoices Towers, @JournalVelo is actually right about Bob’s look here.

It was touch and go in those last kilometres … there might have been some chickpea interference

but Bob shook the hummus from his shoes and hit the finish line first and solo

There are some seriously fabulous QuickStep quiffs

Speechless in a good way, I’m assuming …

Love this … just goes to show the camaraderie in the peloton, regardless of the teams.

Sprinters thwarted …

Badass riding at its best

There’s not much more exciting than the thought of Daniel Oss going out in front and staying out in front … we want to see that victory salute this season!

We believe that, due to Oss not winning, @SwaganP has kept his soul to sell another day.

This made me laugh because … Tyler Farrar doing the rock god horns – possibly the least rock god person ever.

Oss’s first hashtag … is that going to trend?

Tractors … !

We know the season has well and truly started when @nyvelocity starts giving us the tractor report!

There were other races …

A desert race …

Some crazy sprinting …

Gaviria and Kristoff – if they have the same objective – could be a race-crushing combination this year.

Loving Larry in the Ag2r kit.

And a fabulous Tour of Rwanda

This is fabulous …

The Gruppetto

Ben Swift had a horrible crash a few weeks ago while training in Tenerife. Ruptured his spleen and was in intensive care for a while. Adam’s Gran sent encouragement … one of the best cycling tweets EVER

From the Toms Skujins fanclub

A touch of culture on the roadside

Beautiful …

LOL

The Last Word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Dusted up and winded

March 12, 2019, 5:30 am
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While Strade Bianche gave the riders a good dusting on Saturday, Paris-Nice‘s peloton is getting battered by the high winds. This week’s Tweets has given us a musketeer with a swashbuckling way of getting the cork out of the champagne bottle, flying cows, a leek in the maillot jaune, and much much more …

It was that pesky final kilometre

He was the favourite – and he delivered the goods on the final kilometre into Siena. Yes, Julian Alaphilippe won Strade on his debut to the race. Not too shabby!

Once again, Wout Van Aert has won the admiration of cycling fans everywhere with his gritty, never-say-fall-back attitude, which put him on the third step of the podium for the second year running.

Diaries, handstands and dust everywhere.

LouLou certainly knows how to entertain …

Paris-Nice

The wind has put paid to a lot of this race already, with a number of DNFs in the first two stages, including Warren Barguil, who had a double fracture to his second cervical vertebrae (that’s the neck … !), Rigoberto Uran (out with a fractured collarbone), Michael Matthews (concussion), and Martijn Tusveld (fractured jaw … !) Mark Cavendish also abandoned the race on Monday. Who knows if the winds will continue to batter the peloton but, what with injuries and those echelons putting GC riders out of contention, the winner might just be the last one standing at the weekend!

Always a good day when Koen de Kort is in Tweets of the Week.

What the wind did prove is that Egan Bernal is not just a mountain man – he’s fearless when it comes to echelons. And Jumbo Visma are having a storming Paris-Nice with Dylan Groenewegen taking back-to-back sprints. He looks like he’s going to have a stellar season.

The Gruppetto

DQS shares out the wins (amongst their own riders, of course)

All the GIFs

Someone got a new house!

When Silvan Dillier bests you on Strava, it’s a bitter bitter day

The Last Word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: BADASS racing all over Europe!

March 19, 2019, 5:30 am
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It’s been an amazing week of racing. A well-fought Paris-Nice, an astonishing Tirreno-Adriatico … what’s not to love? And of course we’ve been fishing in the Twitterstream to land the best stories of the week.

Sea-to-sea victories

They’re vying for Neptune’s Trident and that can only mean some BADASS riding! At the time of writing, we have no idea who will win Tirreno-Adriatico, but we do know who the star has been.

It was LouLou v GVA in stage 2

Then it was LouLou v All The Sprinters in stage 6. Let’s all say it together … Milan-SanRemo …

I love the woman who shouts ‘LouLOU!!!!!’

QuickStep’s usual sprinter – Vivz –  did win stage 3

Alexey Lutsenko has added to Astana’s astonishing start to the season by winning stage 4 after two crashes and an adrenaline-fuelled finish

Birdsong also got into the act. Out of the six stages (so far) in TA, QuickStep and Astana have won five of them. The only exception is the very first stage, where Mitchelton Scott took the TTT. Will Adam Yates hold his own against nearest rival Primoz Roglic in the final ITT for the team to top and tail the race?

You all know how much Midge loves her Danes …

He might not have taken a stage, but we can’t have a BADASS story without including Daniel Oss.

Sky make it six out of eight

It was Paris-Nice – and the Colombians made their presence known, taking the top and second step of the final podium.

And Team Sky win P-N six times with five different riders. Only Richie Porte has won it twice for Sky – hmmm, wonder what happened to him …

Michal Kwiatkowski seemed to really want this race but, as ever, he played the perfect teammate for Egan Bernal

But P-N was not without its own BADASS riding. There was some serious echelon action in the early stages of Paris-Nice – exciting absolutely everyone! Sky and QuickStep (natch) ruled the road when the wind blew.

And BADASS breakaway rider, Thomas De Gendt, earned Top Pox after some painful climbing.

The Gruppetto

The suspense while in the hot seat(s) for the TTT in Tirreno-Adriatico. Tony Martin definitely does not look happy. (I’d only just got used to Tony in the Katusha kit. Now I have to recalibrate again …)

The best thing about a hotel is slouching around in a fluffy robe. That and room service. Oh, and having a chocolate put on your pillow. Then there’s all the miniature bath products. I do love a good hotel.

Loving this cover!

And now a few words from our sponsors.

Shhhh, LouLou’s sleeping …

Poor Matti is encased in pulsating trousers

Sponsorship makes strange bedfellows, don’t you think?

The mystery that is Katusha

He might be quiet on the victory front, but Peter Sagan is always there for the fans. I still can’t quite get over seeing him a jersey other than the rainbows …

Dreams die hard for everyone …

Even the dreams of being supermodels

I love this picture.

The 2020 Tour de France is going to be one firecracker of a start!

Actually, not Hamlet, but a French detective taunting us with the evidence … ‘Vous pouvez avouer maintenant‘

A long-winded way to say, what’s with the orange?

A VeloVoices favourite … Larry on the Cote d’Azur

The last word

https://twitter.com/MobyDickatSea/status/1107353680146247680

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Tweets of the Week 2019 : Primavera Prosecco with added De Gendt

March 26, 2019, 5:30 am
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It was Milan-SanRemo weekend and holy moly it was a hell of a finish. We have Alaphilippe, Naesen and Kwiatkowski, reactions from those not on the podium, Sagan swinging a baseball bat, Degs dropping a chain … we also have a special report in from Volta a Catalunya involving the Breakaway King. Yes, it’s TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Sometimes winning is a solo effort

It is the Breakaway King and he now has (almost) all the jerseys in the Volta a Catalunya. Yes, Thomas De Gendt went away and a foolish peloton let him stay away. He’s now in the leader’s jersey

And sometimes winning takes a team

It might have been Julian Alaphilippe giving the victory salute at the finish line on Saturday’s Milan-SanRemo, but it took a team to get him there.

And it’s not just the riders who share in their teammate’s victory. It’s all the support staff as well.

I love this picture. I also love the fact that, even though Viviani must have wanted to be on that podium, he’s still happy for his teammate. I reckon this’ll make him hungrier

I wonder if this fact below is why, with all the wins that QuickStep have racked up already, each race feels like it’s been won in a different way – and a way that is a product of reading the race as it unfolds, not trying to force the race to adhere to team plans.

Victory tears are the best tears.

But the finish was a close run thing and it wasn’t until almost at the line that it was a sure thing. Naesen should be proud of this result – and he’ll be going into the cobbles with a lot of confidence.

‘No burgers for you!’

And of course, Kwiatkowski and Alaphilippe have been at the finish together before. This time, Kwiatkowski didn’t get the wheel over first.

Kwiatkowski looks like he got his revenge with a spritz of Prosecco

Is it too early to talk about LouLou’s Legacy?

LouLou is the strongest on the day but he also has the tactical nous and the patience to wait for that perfect moment. He never did more work than he needed to do at MSR and kept his cool in what must have been a nervewracking final kilometre. Quite reminiscent of Kwiatkowski in that respect – it will be great to see those two battle each other in years to come.

The Aftermath

Everyone dreams of a Monument win but only one can win it each year. One of these years, it’s going to be Peter Sagan on the  top step of the MSR podium – you can be sure of that.

The race takes a lot out of a guy

We really hope that the Mighty Degs gets himself onto a podium soon. We heart him.

So so close

Hmmm … ‘the Poggio killed our plan’ – surely Lotto Soudal DSs knew that the Poggio was going to be there?! But I do like the optical trick in this photograph of the bus’s wing mirror making it look like that silver car has the space of the Tardis …

Bonifazio descends like a madman – or a cage fighter. “In races, you don’t really need brakes …”

Ah, the beauty of the Italian countryside

And this is what happens when dickheads get hold of flares …

The Gruppetto

We love Trek Segafredo for so many reasons. This is one of them.

The Mighty Adam Hansen 

Only a few weeks away until … Roubaix!

Wishing Fabio Aru a speedy recovery

From Bedhead Bardet‘s terrifyingly good skin to Remain Bardet … all in a tweet or two.

Possibly the best marching placard ever

From ‘it’s a cooking revolution’ to destroying a room full of vases in world championship colours. I don’t think that Sagz will ever quit cycling for baseball, however. But the big question is, what exactly are we supposed to want to buy after seeing this advert?

Is Oss eating his last meal of the apocalypse? Looks like the whole table is sliding into a blackened abyss

Seinfeld fans will understand this …

Ooops …

We had some new arrivals

And some news about July

Bikes change lives! 

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019 : Kings of the road

April 2, 2019, 4:30 am
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We were in Belgium, we were in Spain. And we had a lot of exciting racing in both. There were some kings of the road crowned.

Nope, we did NOT see that coming!

It was a particularly exciting Gent-Wevelgem, with attacks a go-go in the final few kilometres.

So happy to see the Mighty Degs on the podium again.

The Rock will *always* have a place in Tweets of the Week

When the best thing you can say is that your rider is in the first third of the peloton … but I like the positive attitude of the Sunweb’s tweeter.

For all those bored with QuickStep’s dominance, Gent-Wevelgem seems to have the key to stopping them!

Looks like Fernando Gaviria is a team player, even against his former team.

Zdenek Stybar – Omloop and E3 champion – rode himself inside out trying to get Viviani into position for the bunch sprint (if you remember last year, Vivz was inconsolable at being beaten by Sagan). Stybar was the QuickStep equivalent of the Duracell bunny (with the help of Philippe Gilbert), just coming back to the front to try to chase the break down. … would you want Stybar to frown at you?

They just couldn’t deliver today – but you wouldn’t have bet against them. And I wouldn’t bet against them at Flanders.

Will Katusha ever come good again?

On to Barcelona!

It was a Bling win by a hair in the penultimate stage of Catalunya. It was good to see Matthews back in good form.

But Davide Formolo thwarted the sprinters in Barcelona with a fabulous win. Solo. Yep – winning feels great!

Adam Yates tried to make something happen in the circuits around Barcelona, but it was not to be. He didn’t push Miguel Angel Lopez off the top spot.

There was a theory circulating on Twitter about how the Yates brothers could double their fun.

Definitely a touch of class … (and it’s great to see Musette back in my timeline!)

I fear that with the Yates brothers all Grand Toured up, our little kangaroo might not be given the chance to live up to his potential. Hopefully he’s healthy this season and can put in some great performances.

Just leaving this here.

Any Tweets of the Week is a good Tweets of the Week when Thomas De Gendt is here!

Riding the highway on a Friday afternoon

Stybar takes another one-day classic. Hugs, crowns, a giant globe of alcohol … not a frog in sight, thank God.

The Gruppetto

For your listening pleasure …

Congrats to Kristof Ramon for a winning photograph!

I would love to see someone do this now.

Not sure why this is happening

Eeeeek – that road rash! But what a fabulous name! Barnabas Peak – sounds like a Dickens character.

I miss these two. I really do.

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Ronde and Ronde we go!

April 9, 2019, 4:30 am
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It was the start of Holy Week on Sunday, the week that Classics fans wait anxiously for every season. It begins with the Ronde van Vlaanderen and finishes next Sunday with Paris-Roubaix. So let us ride over the cobbles and hellingen in the Twitterstream and bring you the best of the bunch.

 Look at me!

It wasn’t the winner anyone expected – but it was the result of a bold move and a chasing group whose touchpaper was never really lit. But that shouldn’t take away from Alberto Bettiol‘s win – anyone who can finish off a Monument with a solo win after 270km of hard racing deserves his lifetime supply of Belgian beer.

This is what it means to a team …

It was Quickstep … but not as we know it

There’s a young pup on the scene – and he just bagged himself the second step of the Ronde podium.

The surprise podium

It really wasn’t the podium anyone expected – and where the top two steps were for the young pups, the third step was for Alexander Kristoff who may be only 31, he’s got the worn-in face of a much older man. Others, however, were less than complementary … being compared to a Zeppelin and a boulder

He gets knocked down but he gets up again

There was much talk in the run-up to the race about Mathieu Van der Poel and he was one of the favourites in his first time. But he didn’t have the best of luck, not that that stopped him from impressing everyone who watched the race.

The chasing group blues 

Meanwhile, there were some DQs for unsafe riding …

However, Bling didn’t have a grumble

Nor did Matej Mohoric

Meanwhile, on the Twitter sidelines

There really isn’t anything better than watching cycling with Twitter fans across the world – the observations, the irreverent comments, the TRACTORS!

We all love @nyvelocity

One of the best Twitter threads EVER

And a couple of retired champions …

Wishing them the best

Nothing but good wishes for Peter Kennaugh

And Niki Terpstra 

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: Roubaix on the rocks!

April 16, 2019, 10:00 am
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While other races can often fall flat, lose their effervescence, become humdrum on the day, Paris-Roubaix never does. And that racing energy gets translated into a vibrant Twitterstream … it’s time for ROUBAIX TWEETS OF THE WEEK!

700 and counting

The moment the race was won …

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been racing, how many victories you already have in your palmares … Roubaix means something special.

“I won Roubaix and now I’m going to drink beer in the shower! Just try to stop me!!!!”

A dark horse out of Katusha

Yves Lampaert’s fans are kinda arty

What a day! What a race!

Some of the most exciting kilometres in cycling …

But Wout? The king of understatement

But at least he has silky smooth legs!

Degs looks crushed 😦

Some further info on Tiesj Benoot and the Jumbo Visma car

What about GVA?

Where’s That Boy Phinney?

Seriously, how could you miss him … 7ft tall, dressed in pink, by the side of the road waving?

Meanwhile … from further back in Roubaix history

I say, is that Stuey with Schleck the Younger?

And look! It’s Thor!

This is how much Roubaix means to the riders – no matter where they finish.

The Gruppetto

Blowing bubbles …

For Oss fans everywhere

Gorgeous

No tractors

A little platter of #RoubaixSnacks for NYVelocity’s folding table

When you actually do want some guy running beside you …

This type of behaviour can only be encouraged!

The last word

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Tweets of the Week 2019: The Dutch are lit … and other tales

April 23, 2019, 4:30 am
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The cobbles are over, the Ardennes are on. This year’s Amstel Gold has gone down in legend already. And the tweets were not backward in coming forward about the man who won it.

Give him an inch …

There was some looking around and dawdling up front with Alaphilippe and Fuglsang. And then Mathieu van der Poel happened … and the rest was hysteria. If you were wondering about the timings … 15km in 40secs …

And the Dutch are lit!

Surely InnerRing never makes a mistake!

The best ever?

Looks like the Dutchman might be on some shopping lists

Out on the farm

Monday was the dusty beauty of TroBroLeon

He obviously doesn’t know how to cuddle a piglet – neither of them look particularly comfortable with this, do they?

Not everyone who likes this race is a hipster, by the way.

The Gruppetto

One has to wonder why Alex Dowsett is sitting there in a suit of armour. The cat doesn’t look too impressed.

Steep? There’s an easy way to train for that …

Good to see Cav in the thick of a Turkish sprint … and smiling.

Amstel wasn’t the only race MvdP took in this Tweets week. He also took Brabantse Pijl

But that time Julian Alaphilippe was on the podium, not fourth …

Ring-a-ding-ding

The top 3 seem to be hogging all the limelight so far this season.

Double-denim only looks good on Hinault (don’t try this at home!)

The last word

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Giro Tweets of the Week : Trash talk, relegations and a heartfelt farewell

May 14, 2019, 4:30 am
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It was the opening stages of the 2019 Giro d’Italia and the Twitterstream turned pink. We had time trials, trash talk, sprint relegations, duelling roommates, Peter Sagan‘s new hair, a sewing Cancellara and oh so much more! This baby is PACKED TO THE GILLS!

As Tom Dumoulin rolled out of the starthouse, it was clear that, well, he had no fat on him whatsoever. It was all rib cage and hip bones in his skinsuit. It was commented on quite a bit. Big Tam has turned into Tiny Tam.

This is what it felt like for Tao 

Great to have Chad in a Grand Tour – always means a rich seam of tweets.

The Ineos team of youngsters …

I love this – although William looks like a baseball with stitching around his mouth and Michael‘s eyes have turned gold and he’s lookin’ for trouble.

First or Last?

I don’t think that you can make such a direct line between Yates starting late and taking time on his rivals (except for Roglic). I’m not sure you can make out that this is brilliant tactics by him. It’s just what happened.

While the whole ‘picking your own place’ got Jeremy hot under the collar. Banned! It should be banned, dammit!

From shit to pepper

That Simon sure does talk purdy, don’t he? I think we can safely say he has a potty mouth.

His Nibs took exception to Yates’s colourful commentary. Or did he?

As Euan says, Simon didn’t do any backtracking.

But Nibali seemed to! From shit to pepper … all in a couple days.

Even Inner Ring gets into the act.

Stay on target … stay on target!

It looks like Elia Viviani got too excited about winning a stage in the Giro in his nat champs jersey. And he got relegated … the saga in tweets.

Will Newton, I say, sassy is right!  Senechal seems to have taken a leaf out of the Yates’s Big Boys’ Book of Bluster

But Florian wasn’t the only one who thought the relegation was the wrong move by the jury … Chris Podium Cafe is unimpressed …

I’m glad he didn’t throw his bike or yell at his soigneur. That has to be the most fluid ‘ride to bus, board bus’ I’ve ever seen.

And Fernando Gaviria got the stage, the podium Prosecco and the sprinter’s jersey (and does NOT look pleased …)

Farewell, Marcel

The Argo Sun-God has hung up his wheels – we’re not sure if that’s for a break and he’ll be back or if this is for good. Either way, it takes guts to walk away from something he loves but isn’t working for him anymore and even more guts to be so honest about it on social media. We will miss Marcel Kittel – when he was in his pomp, he was such an exciting rider to watch – and we wish him all the best of everything.

There was one person who hadn’t heard about it, though

The Gruppetto

Jolly japes in De Gendt / Van der Sande room. I’m hoping this runs for the whole three weeks – might even have a little piece of TWEETS all its own every week.

The #NoGoTour has made it to the Giro

Meanwhile, somewhere in Switzerland, a retired cyclist is making his own maglia rosa

Coastal rhyming slang, courtesy of Rob Hatch.

Peter Sagan looking shorn and ready to race. Just me or is he super subdued this season?

Aaaannnnnnd he takes the first stage …

I think the stress has gotten to our Luke

Mavis has been at all the races this year – she’s even gone to California on her ‘retirement tour’. I. Am. Very. Very. Jealous.

Just when we thought it was safe to go to the buses

Eye-seering …

The last word

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