Tweets of the Week: Chaos, cheese and buried stitches

Chaos, attacks left, right and centre, winning, losing, crying – it might have been an exciting week at the Dauphine but that has nothing on what was going on in the Twitterstream! So let’s go down to the waterside and fish out some tweets, shall we? We have an Oleg/Bertie bromance (warning: some salty language), a Garmin switcheroo, Dr Phinney‘s stitching clinic (warning: gruesome), a Pippo photocollage (warning: even more gruesome) and Bradley got back(ing).

Baby Blackbird bags a lion

Stage 7, Alberto Contador (aka Baby Blackbird) takes the yellow jersey from an exhausted Chris Froome (aka Froomedog).

Remember last year, when Oleg made it very clear that he thought Bertie wasn’t up to it? All is forgiven.

Remember last year when Oleg made it very clear that he thought Bjarne wasn’t up to it? All is forgiven. >Oleg salty language alert< There was a whole chain of tweets about this picture, but my Amish upbringing wouldn’t let me put them in. >Too saucy< They had a subtle and cunning plan

And that plan was for Andrew Talansky to get in the break and nonchalantly get enough time on Contador (while his attention was diverted …) to win the entire Criterium du Dauphine! Simples! Let’s see how the plan worked!

Talansky! Contador! Attacks!

Final Dauphine 42 And the verdict …

The obligatory “thank yous, I’ll be back, it was great” tweets from the riders.

I wonder if the thought of be chased by that bull also took Froome’s mind off his sore legs? It doesn’t look happy, does it?!

Meanwhile, over in Switzerland

We’re still waiting for this race to hot up – I wonder if it will get as vibrant as #CostaCrush Rui‘s teeshirt?

I thought we were finished with this mesh malarkey. Apparently not. Although it looks like it’s just the side panels, not the back. And I’m kind of liking it with the MTN-Qhubeka colours.

A certain knight is riding in this race as well, but unfortunately not really racing up to his usual standard. Feeling a bit deflated, crashing, chest infection – not really his week, is it? >STOP PRESS< News just in! Wiggins has abandoned Tour de Suisse!!! (More details further below)

Funnily enough, we have the World Championship TT podium from 2013 in this race. We’ve already seen Wiggins, now here’s the current champion Tony Martin brandishing a giant wedge of cheese. And seems there was a late substitution for one of the podium girls.

And the third man on that Championship podium last year, my beloved The Sacred Haunches™ himself, Fabian Cancellara. I wonder what Fabs is saying to Tony? Recipe for raclette, perhaps, to use up that giant wedge of cheese? #KingClass

And finally, while we’re on the subject of World Champions (both past and present), a lovely picture of Mark Cavendish and Tony Martin looking dumbfounded at Tuesday’s press conference. “The cheese? Well, I’ve been advised to make raclette with it, why do you ask?”

We want Wiggins!

Not sure if this particular campaign is going to last the week, considering that Brad’s not having the best of rides in the Tour de Suisse – and as stated above, has abandoned!

Screen Shot 2014-06-17 at 5.27.08 PM

Alex Oates is starting a new campaign now!

Paging Dr Phinney, Paging Dr Phinney!

Here’s a guy who would love to be riding his bike, but unfortunately That Boy Phinney is all about the #rehabgrind these days, but he keeps his spirits up. And ours. Here’s the latest Taylor Recovery Report. (Alert: the third picture is, um, well, gruesome. Be warned!)

Seriously, how long is his right leg? The Gruppetto

The stitches pic might have been gruesome, but not as gruesome as this. (Alert: you will never be able to unsee this. Be warned!) Pippo with a touch of Paolini …

Say this three times fast.

Mick Jagger is enjoying the World Cup! Is it just me or does it look like he has a crate of shrink-wrapped internal organs?

Can’t beat a good emoji review.

These pictures give me vertigo. And not in a good way.

Just a magnificent picture.

My Beloved on the downhill. I bet he was eating cake at the time. He does that. He’s that good.

Pippo clothed. You don’t see that very often. Well, at least not in this column!

There are an awful lot of strategically positioned waterjets in this tub. And are those little rubber duckies on the side as well? Hmmm, if this is Fabs’ bathroom, it doesn’t look anything like it does through nightvision goggles. [Remember the restraining order, Kitty - Ed]